Yoga is my substitute for therapy.
There comes a point when you question your sanity. Either you’re overworked or you’re overschooled or both. Until recently, I was a walking time bomb, ready to bite the head off anyone who disagreed with me. I was under a lot of stress and I wasn’t managing it all too well. I couldn’t even get restful sleep, as my mind would still be thinking about work and school.
I suspect I am also slightly afflicted with ADHD (which is to blame for my uncontrollable urge to work and study at the same time) and I refuse to take meds to correct that. I had a therapist back in college and was given uppers and downers to deal with my bipolar emotions. I stopped because I believed in taking care of my liver more. (That means, I really avoid taking medicines. Especially antibiotics and prescription drugs.)
In 2010, my stress levels went into an all-time high and my depression plummeted into an all-time low. One of my students even asked me if I weren’t scared that I’d go crazy, what with all the information and responsibilities I keep ingesting at maximum speed. I had a sudden mental image of John Forbes Nash, Jr. (game theory genius, who struggled with schizophrenia) and shuddered.
Good thing, my friend Maite contacted me about taking up yoga. Her instructor is Pio Baquiran. The session, which cost about P400, was held at the function room of Citiland Mega Plaza in Ortigas last October 9, 2010.
Ok, so I was a bit shy in taking photos of the informal yoga class. This is Maite’s mat. Hehe.
Even though I did not bring my own mat (used my jogging pants for the lying positions), I felt very relaxed. The last time I had been to a yoga session, which was held at the Rockwell Powerplant Mall, I felt pressured. I think it was caused by the fact that cameras were trained on us and I didn’t want to look like a dork doing awkward positions.
This time around, I did not have to hurt myself while trying to be flexible in places I wasn’t comfy with. I was so relaxed — despite the beads of sweat profusely rolling down my face — that I actually fell asleep during cool down. The kind of sleep I had was strange. It was raining gently, so I figured that that was part of why I felt so lethargic. My consciousness flitted in and out of the room. I dreamed about butterflies and daisies (I kid you not!!!), but I returned just in time for him to end the session with a few more stretches.
The hunger pangs slowly crept its way into my stomach so I had to feed myself a bit. Maite and I headed for Robinson’s Galleria. I had chicken curry for lunch.
We weren’t familiar with the area so we settled for the food court, where Spices of the Earth offered some really cheap combo meals.
Maite with her grilled tuna steak. We’re not supposed to eat too much. We’re not even supposed to take cold drinks since we just “created fire inside our bodies”.
When I got back to the condo, which was one MRT station away from Robinson’s, I blogged a bit about John and Yoko and then quickly went back to sleep. For five hours. I had not gotten that much rest in ages.
I am desperate for a change of scene. In my bid to get my life back, I resigned from my post as Assistant Director of APC’s School of Multimedia Arts last August. This is also the last semester of my PhD coursework. I’m thinking of taking things slowly again when the semester ends, and try to re-capture all the things I had lost when I was driving myself to the borders of insanity. (To quote a highly influential person in APC: “You cannot seriously take 9 units of PhD coursework per semester while working full time six days a week! That’s crazy!”) One of the things I have to take back is decent family bonding moments. Then my precious ME TIME. Lastly, and more importantly, my spirituality.
There are a million things I want to do, but I will have to take them one step at a time. I hope yoga will help me bring balance to the force. =^.^=