G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I don’t really feel like writing a lengthy review, especially since I can sum it up in a few sentences. The Rise of Cobra absolutely destroyed — completely obliterated, mercilessly devastated — my childhood memories. The Duke and the Baroness, armed with their mind-numbingly cheesy lines, just about made me go to the bathroom so many times. I kid you not.

It was a fun movie, nonetheless.

I thought I was going to sleep through parts of it (like I did with Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince), but I didn’t. I like my action movies…well, action-packed. While I usually get bored with car chase scenes, I actually enjoyed the ones in this. Nothing beats flying cars. And Arnold Vosloo (whom I always mistake for Billy Zane).

The film didn’t pretend that it had something substantial to offer story-wise. It was simply entertaining.
“And knowing is half the battle.”

Rating: 7/10

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